Kramer stumbles across the set of The Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster. He takes the discarded set pieces and arranges them in his apartment. He pretends the show is still on the air and acts as the host, playing the show's theme whenever "guests" come onto the set, and conducting interviews with them. Kramer adds Newman as a co-host for his "show". George's girlfriend, Miranda, is so appalled when George runs over some pigeons with his car that she stops having sex with him. George is baffled that pigeons no longer move out of the way when he approaches. Not wanting to worsen his standing with Miranda, George swerves to avoid a pigeon, but instead hits a squirrel. Miranda pressures George into paying for surgery required to save the squirrel's life and housing it during its rehabilitation. Jerry is intrigued with his new girlfriend Celia's vintage toy collection that she refuses to let him touch. When Celia asks for a pain reliever, he gives her a nighttime pain reliever so he can play with her toys while she sleeps. George wants in on this, so they treat Celia to a dinner of turkey (which contains tryptophan) and red wine, followed by a four-hour home movie. Once she is asleep, Jerry and George play with the toys. Elaine joins in as well. Jerry tells Kramer about this; Kramer is horrified by Jerry's actions as this might affect the standard of his talk show. Elaine's new co-worker, Lou, moves so quietly that she can't hear him even when he's right behind her. He uses this ability to steal half the credit for her accomplishments by sidling behind her whenever she presents her work. Elaine uses his trick against him by wearing wrestling shoes, but this backfires since Lou's work is shoddy. Elaine gives Tic Tacs to Lou to make him noisy. The sound annoys J. Peterman, who says Elaine will be fired if he hears it again. Elaine suggests Lou use gum instead. Lou says the only gum he enjoys is the Mickey Mouse gumball machine which they stopped making 20 years ago. Elaine and Lou knock out Celia once again to access her gumball machine. Concerned about his ratings, Kramer changes the format to a tabloid talk show and invites on old friend and animal expert Jim Fowler, who arrives with a hawk. On the "show", Kramer gets Jerry to admit that he has been drugging Celia. Kramer then brings out an angry Celia (who was "backstage"), and goads on their subsequent argument. George brings the squirrel onto the set to get Fowler to take it off his hands, but the hawk goes after it. The Merv Griffin set is destroyed in the process.