While having a conversation with Elaine about his favorite T-shirt, "Golden Boy" (which, due to its age, is "dying"), Jerry jokingly tells her the novel War and Peace was originally called War, What Is it Good For? (a reference to Edwin Starr's hit song "War"); Elaine takes him seriously. Kramer gives Elaine an electronic organizer. He has acquired a stash of 600 Titleist golf balls from a driving range and decides to hit them into the ocean. Jerry runs into George's college crush Diane and tells her George is now a marine biologist. Intrigued, she asks Jerry for his number. George is upset because he thinks he can't convincingly pretend to be a marine biologist. Elaine shares what Jerry told her with renowned Russian author Yuri Testikov, who is being courted by Pendant Publishing, her company. This causes an argument between Elaine, Mr. Lippman, and Testikov. When Elaine can't shut off her electronic organizer's beeping, Testikov angrily grabs it from her and tosses it out of the window of the limousine they are sharing. It hits a woman named Corinne in the head. She finds Jerry's phone number in the organizer and calls him. Corinne says she won't return Elaine's organizer until she is compensated for her hospital bill. Since Elaine destroyed her contacts book upon getting the organizer, she needs it back, but feels Testikov should pay Corinne's bill. She and Jerry meet him in his hotel room with a tape recorder hidden in her bag. They record a confession, but Testikov is irritated by the noise of the tape recorder and digs it out of Elaine's bag. He throws it out the window, hitting Corinne in the head while she waits outside the hotel. Kramer returns home in humiliation, having missed every ball except one, and gotten sand in his clothing. While trying to get sand out of his shoe, he accidentally drops it out of his apartment window, hitting Newman. At the beach, George is called upon to use his non-existent marine biology skills to save a beached whale. Motivated by love for Diane, George approaches the whale, realizes its blowhole is obstructed, and reaches in to pull out Kramer's golf ball. George is hailed as a hero and confesses to Diane that he is not really a marine biologist. She dumps him in response. Jerry tells Elaine that in its latest run through the washing machine, Golden Boy "didn't make it", but has been replaced by its son, "Baby Blue".